The Value – of being candid …

“All faults may be forgiven of him who has perfect candor.” – Walt Whitman

“I can’t believe you just said that” ….

“I wish he/she would just say what is on their  mind and not dance around it …”

“I know what he/she said – but do they mean it – really mean it …?”

I sure you have heard this many a time in your  life – I most certainly have.  We could all save time, break down barriers and get things done if people would just state  what is on their mind, with tact and diplomacy.  Candor is critical in business, career and life. Hiding behind crafted words that diffuse what you think or mean isn’t being honest – it isn’t being a leader.

The best leaders are candid – always. They say what needs to be said, and they do not mince words. They motivate by their directness and candor – and their team knows what is expected of them. Oftentimes those on the receiving end don’t like what they are saying – but they believe in their leader and know it is the truth.

When communication breaks down in a job, a company or a relationship once it is often the absence of candor caused by the fear of hurting someone and making them upset in some manner.  Communicating without candor does just the opposite – it causes fear, lack of trust and is even more upsetting. 

How you communicate in life and career is part of this …

A few tips: 

• ·         When faced with having to communicate difficult news – in business, to a loved one or a colleague, be candid, direct and to the point.  Your position will be known, and from this point you may move forward.
• ·         Not happy where you are in your career – be candid – with yourself and others – and start the move forward with no surprises.
• ·         Is your mate not being candid – explain how this can hurt – ask for directness (resolves huge problems too!).
• ·         Demand candor from others. Listen carefully to what people say and how they say it. Those who do not speak with candor or are mincing words show it in their voice and in their eyes. If faced with this, with tact and diplomacy, ask pointed questions – politely and always with a smile. The person will get the message – you can be sure.

You can never be faulted for being honest, and candor is the means to the end of better communication and success in career and life,

And thank you for reading this. - Dan

Unemployed need help – but a new law could kill their chances ….

“There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.” Stephen Covey

In the President’s jobs bill is a provision that would make it illegal to discriminate against people who are unemployed and effectively halt the practice of asking about one’s current job which is critical to gauge the ability of the applicant to do the job at a new employer. 

While true there are employers who will not interview those who are unemployed, and while I feel it is a huge mistake, it is not illegal but would be under this law. The effect of doing this will be a further hands-off on resumes where employment history isn’t clear. Employers will fear lawsuits and will pass on applicants whose resumes indicate a break in employment or current unemployment. This will, in effect, make the situation much harder for the unemployed and not help. It will also raise the possibility of hiring lawsuits – and that will dampen jobs for sure. 

This really stems from employers who have added in job postings “unemployed do not apply”. I would say they are misguided for sure – others have used stronger language. My take – if you were applying to one of those companies and saw that in a job posting, is that really the place you want to work? Not me!

Will that make it into law – many say no but you never know. If you are one of the unemployed – even a long-term unemployed, my advice:

Take a job – any job – to show that you are working and trying to get ahead and change your situation. It might be something just to put a few bucks in your pocket or better yet, to pick up a new skill. It is work – and will show your commitment to working.

Staying hope because you can make more money on unemployment – which is the decision of many – will come back to haunt you at some point and can work against you. If this is your decision, have a good reason for it – child care, elder care or another like reason to show there is a purpose.

Let employers hire the best applicant for the job and company and hope that government doesn’t interfere with this free market which would be a shame for sure. Push on. Persevere. There is a job for you – it can be right around the corner if you try hard!

And thank you for reading this. - Dan

Early Bloomer – Late Bloomer –Boomer … It doesn’t really make a difference when – it is all about the if …

“As long as we are persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time.” – Denis Waitley

I read a great article this past week which  I have shared the link to. It is the story of a highly-successful New York woman who was at the top of her world – had it all, the material trappings, money and more – and it all came crashing down, no fault of her own. Gone was the job – her relationship – her material wealth.

What she determined to do was to bloom under a rather cloudy time in her life, and become a therapist. Chucked it all – put her “stuff” in storage, went home to her parents on the West Coast,  enrolled in school and now is blooming in life with purpose and passion. As you will see, she takes offense in being called a “late bloomer” as her destiny was etched – she just had to discover it.

And it never would have happened if the sky didn’t - as it appeared to – fall in on her. She proved – you can bloom at any time in life – when you are 25 – 45 – 75 or 85 (if your health is with you). It just takes a push to a degree – or as I call it, a defining moment. Blooming in a newer term to the market to define taking a career and/or life situation that forces a change and determining to grow – or bloom from it.

Maybe every cloud does have a silver lining and the social, economic, political and what-ever-else-crisis we are living through today  is, to a degree, forcing action and helping people realized underutilized potential they never knew they had. It is happening as their life and career changes and when change are forced upon them.  This change forced upon many is not defined by age, gender, social class or other factors – it is touching all on an equal, non-discriminatory basis. The change can be motivating and forward-thinking – if you will accept it.

Are you an early bloomer – late bloomer – boomer bloomer – you name it? It doesn’t make a difference when – it is about the if you will allow yourself to bloom when the situation is presented.

Sound intriguing – how could it not! A few tips:

• Keep an “idea” book handy always – Put it on the side of your bed, with you at work or other activity and as you think of an idea, do not commit it to memory – write it down. You memorialize the idea – and it is there for your recall (okay – let’s admit it too – some of us boomers have “memory deficiency” as I like to call it – others call it can’t remember crap).
• Take your time – Many make snap and rush decisions when they are climbing and often times these decisions are hasty and poor. Don’t get caught up in a race with them – come from behind and nip them at the wire – on your own schedule, not the schedule of another.
• Don’t be envious of other who appear to find their niche earlier in life – Understand that it sometimes takes longer and it is useless to compare yourself to others – that will get you nowhere, faster. Establish your pace to bloom – and stay at it; don’t let others push you forward if you are not ready. Then again – if you are stalled for perhaps no real reason – take the shove from someone else you respect – they are trying to help.
• Trust in yourself – This is critical. You must state and believe – I know what I am doing is right – I know … and repeat it over and over again.

Read the article if you wish:  http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/09/22/never-too-late-to-find-your-path-in-life/?iref=allsearch

And thank you for reading this – bloomer! - Dan

Dan Moran

President & Founder

Next-Act

Career Management & Transition Specialists

125 Wolf Road, Suite #128

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dmoran@next-act.com